Excuses

Did I blog today? No. But it was a 10 hour day and then a company party, so yeah.

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Oh no! I didn't blog today! I would say I forgot to blog, but I just remembered, so therefore I didn't forget completely. Only for a little bit, and then I remembered. So I remembered last. And therefore I remembered and didn't forget!

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It is what it is

Super busy day at work today so I won't be able to write a blog post. Wait a minute...this IS a blog post!

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Procrastivity

I believe Calvin said it best when he said that creativity can't be turned on and off like a faucet, you have to be in the right mood (I would link that comic but I can't find it), and that mood is last minute panic. For some reason that holds very true, I can state at a blank page all day and write nothing, but if my boss tells me I have 10 minutes to write a report on the mating habits of swallows he will have it on his desk in 15 minutes (I'm not a miracle worker, I still need those extra 5).

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Finally

I can finally blog from my phone! I've been wanting to do this for so long now, and now that I have a smart phone I can finally mobile blog properly, without having to get dressed or out of bed. I don't have to properly wake up before blogging anymore! This opens up a whole new world of possibilities for me, aside from blogging from bed (which I'm doing now in case you were wondering why I wasn't wearing pants) I can now blog from work, and... other places that aren't my bed or computer or work. Yeah!

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Some days, I'm just not feeling it.

HA! Getting this done early today. Well, early is of course a relative term. Early for me might be 11 or 12 whereas early for a dock worker might be more along the lines of 3am.

Wow, I'm glad I'm not a dock worker.

Phone troubles

My life isn't even that busy, but one single thing happens and it throws off my whole daily routine and then I don't have time to properly write a blog post.

On the floor

My roommate likes to take my chair when his girlfriend comes over, which is perfectly fine because I'm at work in the evening when she comes over. The only problem is that she stays up super late and then consequently sleeps in super late. So my chair is in his room with his sleeping girlfriend for pretty much the whole morning while I kneel at my desk to surf the internet. But then my knees get tired so I sit down on the floor, so there I am sitting on the floor with my keyboard in my lap poking my head up like a prairie dog every couple words or so to make sure my typing is correct. It's an incredibly hilarious sight, but now after reading it back I realize it sounds more sad than funny.

I'm sorry.

Serves me right for starting on a Friday

I was all gung ho about restarting my blog when all of a sudden, BAM! weekend. Oh well, silly me. I find my motivation comes in waves throughout my life, as anyone who looks at the calendar on my blog will notice. I wonder if this is something to do with my early years as an adolescent vacationing in CA while going to school in WA or CO. I did nothing during my Summers, moreso than most children because I didn't have a social life during Summer so I couldn't ask my friend Jimmy to come over from down the street.

But perhaps this allows me to be more excited about my motivational phases than most people, whereas most people feel bogged down or overworked when they become busy, I feel invigorated (that is until I feel bogged down and overworked).

Aaaaaaaaand I'm back

Or at least I'm going to try to be back, we'll see what happens since I don't have the greatest reputation with keeping this blog up.

One day really does change everything

I just watched the first 4 episodes of Nickelodeons "The Last Airbender" and I must say that overall it is really good. The artwork is very well done, it is very funny, the story is interesting. I would recommend anyone who has netflix instant should look it up.

Damnit I have to run!

Brilliant idea #49

Habits really don't take too long to form, once you've done something for a week straight it becomes almost habitual (hey is that where that word came from?). It's true either way, by starting something or stopping something. I feel like stopping something that you're addicted to is a bit harder though, it might take two weeks. Maybe I can get addicted to writing after a few weeks and then I'll see how long it takes me to stop.

Good God that's brilliant!

I feel my writing has become too laconic, I'm just not putting a proper amount of effort into it anymore. It's like as soon as I have at least 3 sentences down I feel that that's enough and move on to whatever grabs my attention next. I'm going to have to work on that.

A drunken Haiku:

I forgot to write

counting is hard when you are drunk

beer beer beer beer beer

The longer you wait, the harder it is to write. You really have to capitalize on your sudden urges, otherwise the urge will dissipate as quickly as it came to be. It's exactly unlike the urge of sex, which just gets stronger and stronger the more you ignore it. Which is why it is important to orgasm 2-3 times a week at least! If you don't your urges will become so terribly strong that you might just explode.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by the Center for Urge Management

Mom's here

Everyone should have a mom, they just make you feel better (especially after sharing a bottle of wine).

That's all I have to say to you tonight, after mom and wine I'm tired and ready to sleep!

;)

My mom is coming into town tomorrow!

But I made myself a promise, that for my birthday I would write every day. This weekend is going to be hard (that's what she said). But in other news work will soon be changing my schedule to night shift again. I'm actually kind of excited because it means I will have more time to write now, but on the downside it means I will have less time to spend with my lovely lady :(

*sigh*

It's the constant struggle, do I work hard and be possibly happier in the future because I've made something of myself? or do I be constantly happy throughout? hmmm.

A psychic once told me that I would have to choose between my love life and my career and that I was supposed to choose my career. But now that I've lived life a little more I realize that was probably a pretty safe assumption for her to make, because it seems almost everybody has that problem/choice. I mean if Liz Lemon has to deal with it on a daily basis then it can't be that original right?

So I think there's always a happy balance with everything, if you count your eggs before they're hatched and then put all your eggs in one basket the basket will be half full or half empty and you'll have to walk on eggshells or you'll have egg on your face.

Trying new things

As I was getting ready this morning I wanted to change up my routine. I always take a shower first thing in the morning so I did as many things as I could before taking my shower so that my shower would be as close to the last thing I do as possible, so I brushed my teeth...and then I took a shower. The shower really is the beginning of everything. I can't shave before taking a shower because then my facehair is all course, I can't gel my hair before taking a shower because then I would just wash it out. I can't get dressed before taking a shower because that's just silly. So damnit, another horizon broadening experience brought to a screeching halt by logic.

I went out tonight, and that usually means that I don't write. But it's the beginning of my birth month so I decided that as a birthday present to me I was going to write every day this month, no bullshit! The only problem however, is that by promising myself that I'm going to write every day I have to write every day, and I have no idea how hard that is because I haven't done it yet. Hopefully you will join me on my trek across the month of my birth. I will try to make it exciting.

At least that's what I tell myself to get through the day

I used to think writing was something that I could do full time, that was I think a few months ago. Now I don't think that so much, even if I didn't have to go to work 8 hours a day and I wasn't so tired when I came home I believe I would still have a hard time getting to the computer and actually writing for a full 8 hours. I'm just not really self motivated. It's why I don't think I could really go into a career for the arts, constantly putting effort into getting a new job every day. Sounds terrible right? Right.

OK, I gotta do this fast since I'm only home for a short while. I've been house sitting for some friends and the house comes with two giant golden retrievers and a little poodle like whelp. I have been getting a lot of sleep this weekend so far but only because the sleep that I get is constantly being interrupted by yelps and scratches and snoring. Now I know that dogs can snore, I've heard it before, but this dog sounds exactly like my father when she snores. It is the damnedest thing. But anyway I have to sleep at least 15 hours a day now but with the constant waking up and trying to get back to sleep I think I am averaging about 6 hours real time sleep. So there are about 9 hours that are being taken away from me by creatures which are supposed to be lower on the food chain. Maybe I'll feel better after some Bosintang.

Logic so sound it's unheard of

Is it really so bad to repeat yourself? People do it all the time in conversations. I continue to censor myself because I keep writing about the same things over and over again. But I'm not even taking someone else's ideas, I'm taking my own (that can't be that bad right?). Maybe I'm honing my ideas, yeah! It's not that I'm repeating myself or being unoriginal because I'm out of ideas, I'm repeating myself to make my writing better.

You just can't argue with yourself when your logic is so sound.

Pizza makes everything better

How is it that I can come home from feeling tired all day, crash on the bed and take a nap, then wake up an hour and a half later even more tired than when I got home? Damnit.

I need some pizza.

A change of plans

So I changed my calendar format, instead of circles for making a post and Xs for not I decided a frowny face would motivate me more. But now I just have a disappointed calendar. Not exactly the motivating tool I would have hoped for.

You know what is motivating? Boobs. So now there will be 2 circles for completed days instead of just one. I will finally turn my lifelong infatuation with female nudity into something useful with my life.

YES!

YAY!

http://thesports.podbean.com/2010/05/18/the-sports-may-11-2010/

That's me! :DDDDD

Bet you thought I was done didn't you?

It was completely unintentional, but apparently I've decided to take a break after 200 posts. I had actually forgotten I had exactly 200 posts until just a moment ago when I opened up my blogspot homepage. But vacations are required every now and again, required and deserved. And while it is hard to get back into the day to day after being on the down and low for a lengthened period of time, it is worth it because now the day to day seems less day after day and more seize the day...today.

Day!

Holy crap 200 posts

I hate feeling sick, but worse than being sick is the feeling you know you're about to get sick, I've felt like this all day. I can feel the infection coming, but I'm not sick enough to stay home so I just have to deal with it until it flattens me.

The bar where everybody knows your name

All my life I have been shy, timid and reclusive. I have always assumed this is because my environment was changed early and often as I was growing up (my parents separated before I could form memories, my mom moved around the country more often than an army brat and my dad only lived in California but in just as many different houses). A theory which is validated by my recent discovery this evening: I feel at home at the sushi bar. I used to go out to the sushi bar with my dad, just the two of us for as long as I can remember. Whether it was Surf Sushi (later the Pink Godzilla) in Santa Cruz or Star of Siam (one of the first Thai restaurant/sushi bar combos) in Soquel, my dad was always the king of the sushi bar. He (We) would be greeted with a hearty hello or konbanwa upon entering and sitting in front of the sushi chef, we (he) would flirt with all the cute women who were lucky enough to end up sitting near us, and we would engage in conversation with complete strangers who I had never seen before or since. It was a time we could just relax and have fun, and for some reason it was one of the only places I could shed my protective shell and just relax.

Somehow I have been able to carry that tradition with me through these years and when I'm sitting in front of a large Japanese man with a very sharp knife I transform into someone outgoing, brave and social. It's pretty awesome I must say, to finally find a comfort blanket that isn't literally a blanket (mine is all faded and dirty).

Soooooooooooooo...zzzzzzzz

Tiiiiiiiired...zzzzzzzzzzzz

I do like getting it and giving it though...

I don't like giving gifts. The reason I don't like giving gifts is because I enjoy gift giving too much (hear me out, this makes sense in my head). Say something is coming up in the future that requires me to give a gift, I now have one of two options: I can get something I think is neat, or I can get something that is sure to be awesome. If I get something I think is neat then I spend the entire time before the gift is opened wanting to play with it and reading about it and imagining myself playing with it and then when I actually do give it to the person I basically ruin it for them because I tell them everything about it before they have a chance to open it. It then causes all types of friction between me and the recipient because I've essentially taken their gift away before I've given it to them. But if I get something that is sure to be awesome then I spend the entire time getting all excited about giving the gift and telling the recipient how awesome their gift is and then they are sure to be let down.

I guess that's why I like getting gifts better than giving them.

In the habit, out of the habit, whatever.

I think I've figured out my problem, I was trying to get in the habit of writing but instead I got into the habit of procrastinating. Or rather I was already in the habit of procrastinating but I didn't have anything to get done now that I'm out of school.

Basically what would happen every day was: I would get on my computer, open up the blogger window, and then open up a new tab to do some web browsing, waiting for an idea to come to me. Funny how that didn't work though, so my new goal is to get out of the habit of procrastinating. But habits are not like clothing, they are harder to get out of than to get into, because clothing just comes off like WHOMP! and it's gone, especially when you're horny. Habits come off like molasses in January? Do people still say that? Do people even use molasses anymore? Apparently so. Win for Kelly.

A sneaky enemy

Well I've already failed my goal of writing every day for a month this month (that was easy). But it is the times like this where I cannot give up, lethargy has almost got the best of me but this is just one more battle, it's a sneaky enemy sloth. Because of its nature it knows it won't win a power struggle, but all it has to do is lay in wait for the chance to strike. Then BAM! before you know it, your productivity is down and you're doing other things like...well, nothing.

The only real way to do battle is one day at a time, one day at a time.

Hydromatic!

It's getting harder and harder to come up with ideas the less I write. I feel like that's not the way it should work. I think I should build up writing potential by not writing so that when I do write I have all these ideas and all these thoughts that are just dying to get out onto the page. That way I just sit down and BAM! my fingers fly across the keys like...really fast things. Lightning! I meant to say Lightning! Greased Lightning even, so you know it's super fast.

Scroty McBoogerballs

When you're a kid and you don't know what to write adults always say 'Just write "I don't know what to write"' and it doesn't make sense because why on earth would you do something so pointless. Then as you get older you see the merit in such an exercise, but I've come to learn that writing about not knowing what to write gets pretty boring pretty quickly when you do it everyday. I long for an idea, something to expand upon that comes to fruition in a clever and poignant climax. But that doesn't seem to happen anymore.

Is it me? Am I unable to attract a nice, sensitive idea that will treat me well? Or am I just too lazy to actually find a good one when I have an acceptable one already in the bag?

Stages

When I was younger I used to only write when I was upset, it would allow me to compartmentalize my thoughts and actually realize what I was feeling instead of just feeling it and being confused. The only problem is writing when you're upset doesn't exactly lend itself to proper grammar and I would end up with a page full of incomplete sentences and half-thoughts. Not the most desirable outcome when one wants to continue writing for the purpose of being read, but at least it was a start. After that I would only ever write to better my penmanship, an exercise my dad thought important but at this point I believe he uses conventional methods less than I do and is captivated by the keys. Then came college, and the only reason I wrote is because I was forced to (now of course I could say that I had the choice to not write and fail out of college but that wasn't really a choice I found desirable).

So here sit I, still in the pupae stage of the page. What will emerge from my cocoon? Perhaps a cockroach, perhaps.

Alright back to writing, keep up the momentum, day two...

Why am I so tired? I had like two sips of wine and it knocked me on my ass. It didn't even get me drunk it just made me tired. Lame.

But enough about me, tell me about yourself. Where are you from? What do you do? Did you once eat the meat of a syphilitic donkey just to stay alive while you were lost in the middle east? No? That's a good thing.

Sister Act 2

I just lost the cosmic calender game of connect 4 I was playing, and the sad part is that I didn't realize I was playing until I lost. I guess technically it's more like tic-tac-toe since I circle the date whenever I write and I put an X in the box when I don't, but for the analogy to apply the rules would have to be the same and I would have had to write yesterday. So what it's really like is a game of tic-tac-toe with a board that's 5 x 7 yet only has 30 playable spaces and each space must be played in sequential order, also you can never win but you can lose. Yeah, if there's a game like that then that's what I was playing...and I lost.

Basically what happened is I lost my groove, I was sick on Tuesday and with my illness being right on the toes of an entire weekend where I didn't write I got out of the habit.

So just like Whoopi before me, it's time to start writing again!

Every time...

I'm like a child, so excited about my new toy that I have been wanting for months. And when I finally get it it's amazing, and I play with it non-stop. I bring it everywhere so that I don't have to be without it for even a moment. Then one day I leave it at home, and maybe a few days after that I don't even pick it up. Then comes a time, no specific time but lets say perhaps April 17 & 18 when I don't play with my toy for a whole weekend and I don't even realize I miss it.

So it goes with object after object, and thing after thing until you finally realize you have an entire shed full of things and ideas that never went anywhere because you couldn't keep focused for 20 minutes a day and that's why you never got good at anything.

Writing is a lot like sex, if you wait too long you're no longer in the mood and you go to sleep unsatisfied.

This was funny though.

I'm tired, and I forgot. So how about you take: some writers block, a whole lot of Blizzard entertainment, some nostalgia and a pinch of distraction, maybe a little more distraction, why are you being so stingy with the distraction? it's not like it's expensive just throw the whole can in there. OK now put it in the oven and I'll see you tomorrow.

Who is really willing?

I try not to write about the same things over and over but I've come to realize that it's inevitable especially when I'm freeform writing every day. A common topic of mine is writing about the nature of writing, specifically, having writers block. But I don't care about that right now, because right now my knee is shaking, I can't keep my hand still if I hold it out, and my pupils are dilated. I have become physically addicted to the adrenaline that Starcraft II has convinced my brain to force my glands to create.

No wait, let me start at the beginning:
It was a glorious summer day on Rio Vista Drive that fateful Monday, June 20 1983. Scratch that, too far back. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> My friend and co-worker Jamelle decided to tell me that he has 2 friends who work for Blizzard, and they have been playing Starcraft II, which is awesome but does not affect me in any way because they are HIS friends and he doesn't even have a beta key. So poop. But then wait, what's this? I come into work one day and he decides to tell me the "Friends and Family" keys have been released! and each employee gets...4! Which again does not affect me at all. *Frowny Face* So I'm patient and I'm patient and eventually I decide that I'll just buy the game when it comes out. But you already know that I got one since the game isn't out yet and I've been playing, hold on I'm getting to that part. Finally my good buddy, my favorite IT guy, the coolest dude in the school emails me and tells me he has 1 extra beta key, but another co-worker and I have to duke it out. So I'm preparing myself for the worst and trying to figure out a fair way to decide who gets it (I was thinking rock paper scissors but my roommate suggests we should play a game of Starcraft 1 and the winner gets it), when all of a sudden I get a response email saying "Kelly can have it" BAM! now there are 2 coolest kids in school. But our story is not over yet, because at a certain point in my playing career I get an email from Blizzard giving me another Beta Key! My cup runneth over! Of course I give it to my friend who let me have the first one because he's awesome. But the entire point of this story is that I just heard a rumor that everyone is getting another Beta Key, so the question becomes: Who wants to give me a BJ?

Don't worry, I didn't piss myself

Running as quickly as possible to the bathroom I am relieved at the anticipation of relieving myself. I have waited till the last second to pee because I had to make a few last minute changes for my boss, but sometimes the waiting makes the actual excretion so much better. There is always a ceremony I run through that has become so habitual it borders on a prerequisite: close the door, lock the door, walk to the urinal, unzip, look at door to double check it's locked, and finally pull myself out to evacuate...myself. But wait, what's this? Today of all days, I have decided to wear those boxers with the button on the fly, and while distracted, a button is a difficult simple machine. Why in the crap are there buttons on boxers anyway? Most boxers with buttons are well made all around and don't open up unexpectedly, the only boxers that need buttons are the ones who would be too cheap to put a button on them in the first place. Freaking boxer designers.

What's a good Cat pun?

I'm like a cat, stay with me on this I'm going somewhere. As I was writing I happened to look down to see my laser pointer on my desk. Society tells me a human would put it away in its proper place, but I decide to pick it up and play with it. Society also tells me most people would play with it by pointing it at things and reveling at the small point of red light, but I point it at my desk and try to catch it, like my own personal silly cat video. (Normally I would post a video here but there are no cat videos that have not been seen hundreds of thousands of times on the internet, I checked.)

Now I realized that I didn't write yesterday after making such a big deal the day before that about how I didn't write on the day before THAT, still with me? That's OK. The reason I didn't write is because I spent the day in Temecula wine "tasting" with some friends and I was expecting not to write since we left the house at 8am and I got back this morning.

Wine tasting is an interesting observation on human nature, it's one of those impossible standards we hold ourselves to. Traditionally wine tasting is actually just tasting it: smelling it, holding it in your mouth, inhaling so air will pass through it and finally spitting it out. Nowadays nobody does that anymore because why would you waste a perfectly legitimate excuse to get drunk? So people come from all over the world to a grouping of wineries to let loose and drink some delicious wine. The problem comes when a so called "high class" activity is mixed with alcohol, because people don't act as society deems appropriate while they are imbibing. So people travel for miles and miles to engage in an activity and then when they do said activity they are scoffed at for doing it. Ridiculous humans.

Out of the Blizzard and into the Blizzard

Damnit sonuva mother-god damnit! So close, I was so fucking close to-
OK so I got seven days into the month, which isn't exactly close to a whole month, but I was feeling it, I was in the groove, I was all ready to do an entire month's worth of posts. I had an idea written down yesterday and everything but NO! and do you know what stopped me? Freaking Starcraft! The thing I've really been trying to get into but haven't been able to yet because I'm no good. Well the othger day I became addicted apparently because I completely forgot about posting, it wasn't like I kept reminding myself and I just never had the motivation to actually do it, no I COMPLETELY forgot about it. I didn't even remember till this morning. Freaking videogames, freaking Blizzard with their awesome gameplay and sweet new graphics and amazingly super new features. *Sigh* My Warlock is getting lonely.

Sleep?

Or post?
That's not a fair question, because when I could have been writing I was playing, reading, watching and cooking. So the real question becomes: Procrastination? or post?
and as always procrastination wins, but this is really funny.

"I don't be ticklin' or nothing"

There are a few things in life which are extremely pleasurable to the point of being sexual with no aspect of sexual gratification whatsoever. These feelings tread ever so slightly on the line between friends and awkward, it's like one of those things that your significant other COULD do with another person, but you'd be a little weirded out and you wouldn't know why. I only bring it up because I just clipped my fingernails after having them be far too long for far too long. I tell you it's like a completely new world; the reds are redder the greens are greener, my keyboard feels like a whole new keyboard. My fingertips have been exposed to the world once again, and it's almost sexual. It's what I would imagine circumcision would be like if your foreskin grew back.

Easter is a bittersweet time for me, not because my dog died on Easter or anything (that actually happened two days before Christmas) but because after waiting for an entire year I finally get to have my favorite candy in the world, the Cadbury Creme Egg. Last year I bought 40 eggs because I would have felt like a jerk if I bought out the whole store, this year I bought 35 eggs, because that was all they had in 2 stores. Sugar coma, here I come...

At least now you know what happens when I don't publish a post.

It was a cruel person who put the word processor and the internet on the same machine. Two amazing inventions in their own right, but only separately. When they come together you get distraction upon distraction upon Distraction (the last distraction is capitalized because it's the most distracting one). When I sit down to write I have to close the door so I don't hear the television or all the fun my roommates are having, the only problem is this solitude grants me a certain freedom that isn't good for my creative constitution. So there I am torn every day, do I indulge my creative gray matter as well as my pride and put something productive in this world? Or do I simply indulge and put something sacred in the wastebasket? One day I'll figure out how to do both, but until then I suppose my almost developed sense of responsibility will keep me posting.

Once again, Videogames=Life

So as I was playing a game of Starcraft with an old friend of mine, I came upon a startling discovery: I have the same problem with Starcraft that I do with life, I can't micro manage. When my attention is focused on something it is all on that one thing, I don't have the brain power to think about anything else while I am performing the task at hand. When I am cleaning the kitchen I can't think about the party we have to go to tonight, I can only think about how dirty the kitchen is. Likewise when I am attacking with my small group of marines I can't think about making more troops or expanding my base, because I want my attack to go well, just like I want my kitchen to be clean.

Hmm...

How do you do it?

It starts small: an image on TV, a knowing look from Sarah, even just a thought can get me going. But once it's there there's not much I can do to stop it, I need release and I need it as soon as I can get it. Sometimes it feels wrong to up and leave in the middle of a social situation, but if I don't the consequences could be worse. I keep the door closed for two reasons, so there are no distractions from the task at hand and because I don't like it when people can see me, I don't mind if they know what I'm doing after the fact or even if they are aware while it's happening, but it's such a personal thing that I would feel weird if someone else was in the room. Turning the computer on I leave the lights off, in fact they're a distraction, I prefer the only light to be that of the monitor as I click on my favorite bookmark and search for pictures, I don't need the pictures but they help. Sometimes I even use videos but not very often, I prefer the simplicity of a single frame. When it's all done I fall back into my chair, thankful of what I've done. Sometimes it's amazing and I can hardly believe I did it by myself, but sometimes when I drink too much it's barely even worth the effort I put in. But good or bad I do it every day whether I have an urge or not, because writing is important in life, and if we don't write down our thoughts and feelings what are we but a bunch of monkeys with cell phones?

Palliative? What does that even mean?

So as I've said before (sometimes even in Haiku) alcohol seems to hinder my creative writing ability, which is funny because there is a true stereotype out there about writers being alcoholics. All great writers seem to have a problem with the sauce, Hemingway, Joyce, Peña etc. etc. but I don't have a problem with it, I just like to get a bit tipsy once a week on Friday or so. My palliative also seems to accentuate my CADD (oh god that's twice I've referenced myself now, I am officially a hack) my drunk self does not enjoy focusing on a single idea and following through, oh no. Drunk Kelly enjoys coming up with idea after idea and writing them down to let sober/hungover Kelly deal with the aftermath. But then the problem becomes that drunk Kelly thinks that all his Ideas are good, when in fact they are not, I'm sure there are a few good ones that come through every now and again but for the most part, drunk ideas are not shall we say, as proficient as I would prefer (even though they are prodigious in pure numbers).

Don't read this one if you don't like it when people brag.

It's been a whole month and I've only missed 4 days! I'm feeling pretty good about myself, while some posts were more lackluster than others I have almost achieved my goal and I have no doubt that I will be in the habit of writing daily very soon. Then this will lead on to other productive daily habits and will finally lead to the annihilation of non-productive daily habits. Now all I have to do is stop giving up when I have a few sentences written and the TV is on, or maybe I can just kill my TV!

I found out today that I don't like people, (which is funny because I love humanity) when I'm surrounded by shitloads of people I become apprehensive, sweaty and cranky. I tried to go to a food fair tonight where several famous food trucks in LA come to a single area. It sounded like a fun idea at first, but then as we were nearing the hot spot I got a text message from my friend who was already there and told us every line was at least an hour long, and when we arrived we could barely move around there were so many people. The food smelled amazing but the entire experience was not even remotely worth it (or so I assume since I didn't actually eat any of it). Besides, eating is all about the entire experience and while I always enjoy seeing friends I have no desire to be close to people I don't know while eating. Maybe living in a large city has made me bitter and unfriendly.

What'chu got? ADD? Add it up don't equal you and me.

I think I've just created a new Disorder within myself, I call it CADD or Creative Attention Deficit Disorder:

There I am, sitting in front of the computer and staring at the blank white box thinking of something to write about. When all of a sudden BAM! in comes an idea, and I can kind of see the humor in this so I start writing, but oh wait! Now I have an even better idea so a quick ctrl + a, del and I'm really smoking now. After a quick flurry of clacking keystrokes I have a horrible thought, "What if my original idea was better?" But then out of left field comes my best idea yet, I'll write about my neurosis when I can't decide which idea is better. No no no! I can't write about that, that's not funny. I've got it, I'll write about the sounds I'm hearing out my window: birds, cars, children. Bircardren! The bircardren is a flying transport animal used on jungle planets in the Delta Quadrant of the Milky Way. Another think found in Milky Ways is caramel which Shaq pronounces caramel...

Perhaps it's just regular ADD.

A rolling snowball gathers no trees, until it gets really big

I've come to enjoy writing more because it's something I can change in the most minute manner, which is funny because I always enjoyed acting as something I would do, it would be done and that would be that. But I really like the amount of control I have, I can completely erase an entire paragraph if it isn't going the way I like, or I can add a single comma to ever so slightly accentuate a pause. I also like the fact that sometimes I have an idea which becomes a sentence and just starts rolling like a snowball picking up snow, and sometimes I have an idea which I think is interesting but it never really goes anywhere...

Going to San Diego this weekend, so I will most likely not be posting tomorrow, just a heads up.

It has been brought up to me that I use a lot of commas in my writing, like a lot of commas, like a whole crapload. I must say I concur. (to be finished later)

I have GOT to remember to write BEFORE I go out to the brewery.

I don't think this one deserves a title

Why can I not remember what was running through my head not 20 seconds ago? I had a great idea and now all that's in my head is Michael Scott being "Date Mike, nice to meet me." It's the god damn TV, it rots your brain.

Ugh, I'm sorry. The TV is on in my room and I can't concentrate.

Cooking is hard (That's what she said)

So cooking is hard. I always thought cooking was easy, but that's because I've always followed a recipe from a cook book with exact portions and direct instructions. But when you get a recipe from a friend and your "friend" says "boil 3 or 4 good sized peppers, depending on how much you're going to make" and gives you no proportions of water to keep in the pan, then cooking is hard.

Throw in the fact that we don't have a blender, but we do have an immersion blender, which I thought would work even better. Turns out the immersion blender we have was my roommates from when he was nine. Nine. What kind of a nine year old wants an immersion blender anyway? But I digress, so about halfway through blending it starts making a funny noise, and I'm looking and checking the blender to make sure nothing is falling off. Lo and behold my roommate comes in and says "Don't worry about that noise, it's fine."

I'm going to type that again because what he said was "Don't worry about that noise, it's fine."

Now I didn't realize he had had this thing since he was nine at this point in the story so I figured that most people know their own appliances and I would go ahead and follow his advice and ignore the terrible grinding noises coming from the twenty year old motor in my hand attached to a sharpened blade spinning at 7,000 RPMs immersed in boiling hot liquid. I assume you can see where I'm going with the story. So the blender breaks, the blade falls out into the pan, and I promptly stop the blade by taking my finger off the button (which is a genius way to start and stop something like that by the way, even for the 1980s).

So I know we don't have a blender, but I'm looking for one anyway in case I missed it somehow, and what do you know? Before my very eyes I see the most glorious site I have yet to behold in my life since, an unopened box containing one (1) small sized Cuisinart. YAY! Now all my problems are solved, I have to mix it in sections yes, but that's not a big deal. Until I try the first small portion. I learned a very valuable lesson today: Cuisinarts are not meant for liquid, only chopping solid food. If I had known how to cook I would know this, but as I stated in the beginning, cooking is hard.

Well Nick managed to get the blender working again (By "Jamming it back in there") and I was able to finish making my sauce, except for one small problem: I seem to have put WAY too much water in my sauce because it has no flavor and it is the consistency of well, water.

So even without all the terrible mechanical problems, cooking is hard.

Full Circle

I'm going to have to start writing ideas down again, I continue to have ideas upon ideas at various points in the day (usually when I'm relaxing of course) and then I sit down to write and BAM! "Nothing." You can imagine how frustrating that becomes. (On a side note I just realized that my link color is white and my active link color is gray, I was worried nobody would see the links because I thought they were all gray. I don't know why I was worried though, I think Thomas is the only one who reads (Hi Thomas!) and he's very good about noticing things like that.) Where was I? Oh yeah, writers block, I tend to write about that a lot, perhaps just "Writing what's on your mind" isn't always the best idea, because then I end up writing about not writing. Hey! I should start writing my ideas down throughout the day, then when I sit down to write I won't just be staring at a blank screen. ^_^

Tea for two and two teas for ME!

It's very easy to do something when it's new. But when it starts to loose its unfamiliar feel and becomes just another thing to do, it becomes very easy to stop doing it. I am referring of course to writing. I was so excited to start writing again and before I knew it, it was a chore instead of a pleasure; and I haven't even been re-writing, I've just been stream of consciousness word-vomiting. But I still think that this should be something I want to do, something to explore my mind and to whine and act like I'm better than anyone reading, because that's what blogs are all about right? So starting now I will no longer be putting in the immense effort I have been, I will now be simply writing, writing for fun, writing for pleasure, and writing for ME.

The grammar will still be correct though, because that would just bug me.

Life lessons are more inspiring when condensed into a consise limerick

Learning new things about yourself is an important part of life, and yesterday I learned a very important lesson.

Writing before beer/ never fear.
Beer before writing/ page unexciting.

Have fun, be young, drink...

Getting older is inevitable, yet America is so concerned with staying young. I am of course referring to the general America, not any one specific person or even a majority of people, but the overall feeling and most of all the advertising in America. It makes a very strange conundrum in my head, because I see people who are more successful than me and way younger than me, and I begin to feel like I've wasted my life. But then I see someone who is still in perfect mental and physical health and they graduated college before I was born. So in reality I've got nothing to worry about right? as long as I keep working on something every day I should be fine right? Oh god please tell me I haven't wasted the best years of my life!

No that's silly, they wouldn't have been the best years of my life unless I had wasted them.

On human nature.

After writing once a day for almost 3 solid weeks now I've come to learn that the creative process is one of the more interesting things about human nature. It's not something that can be rushed, except when there's a deadline. It's something that comes out of nowhere and something that must be forced, sometimes at the same time.

It's a bit like pooing.

A semi-nostalgic kind of rant.

While being a child had its advantages and disadvantages there are certain things which ultimately lost their magic: Magic: the gathering is one, pretending to be spiderman in the backyard while completely sober is another, but swearing is the specific one I'm going to write about today.
As a child swearing was something you only did in secret with your friends, adults didn't like swearing because it was bad and adults were never bad unless they were needle sharing, drug dealing prostitutes who played with fire and swore, and those types usually ended up in jail. No swearing was just for kids to use, when only other kids could hear, and even then you never actually said "F--- You" unless you were prepared to never be friends with that person again. It was the absolute, end all be all, penultimate insult you could use to tell someone off. Now that I'm an adult of course it has become almost a term of endearment. But being an adult also has certain advantages and disadvantages, I no longer believe in magic (the real kind, not the gathering), but I do have the freedom to spend my life however I want to. Or at least I thought I did, turns out all the training my parents did ended up working and now I'm a responsible adult who eats his veggies and doesn't hang out in the alley ways. Well you know what? I'm going to go share a needle with a prostitute tonight, and then I'm going to start a fire, just to assert my independence and prove I wasn't brainwashed by the public. AND I'm going to say "Fuck You!" to someone I never want to see again.

and then I'm going to believe in magic while webslinging between the trees.

TV? No thanks, I'm straight.

There are only a few things in life that I don't enjoy and I don't need to do but yet I still do them, this to me is the definition of an addiction. Watching TV is one of those things (reading the entire Twilight series was another, but that's still to painful to talk about). When I'm watching TV, and I'm referring to the daytime, whatever's on, I'm just watching because there's nothing else to do TV; not the prime time, action and comedy filled, amazingly produced Television that gets released to DVD because it's a genuine joy to watch. TV to me is something I can't be around or I'll join in, I'm not a social watcher who only does it occasionally. I can sit on a couch and do nothing but watch TV for an entire day, when that happens I usually forget to eat, and when that day is over I realize I didn't enjoy myself for even a moment. When I do anything else all day, I have something to show for it: a sense of pride, a newfound talent, a couple levels and a few achievements gained. But TV? oh no! TV is the Devil, with a capital D to demonstrate the true sense of Evil.

And yet, though I know how terrible and draining the entire experience is for me, I still can't stop myself from watching when it's on. When you tell people you're a recovering alcoholic they respect the disease and won't drink around you, when you tell people you're addicted to TV they laugh and say "Me too."

Perhaps there's a bigger problem going on here...

Sunday

So I've always thought of Sundays as a "Do Nothing" day. Since I was a kid and would spend the morning reading the color comics in the paper and not watching Saturday morning cartoons. The point is I'm keeping that tradition alive to this day by not doing anything all day :)

So there should be a game, guess the quote:
"Pazuzu you ungrateful gargoyle"

Procras-eh, I'll finish later

The funny thing about procrastination is-
Sometimes it actually takes more energy to put something off than to actually just do it.
Once you start procrastinating it becomes exponentially more difficult to get back on track.
With each decision to not work the work gets that much further away.

It's like rocket fuel (stay with me on this I'm going somewhere).
Say there's a rocket that's going to leave the atmosphere that weighs 3,000 pounds.
Now you're going to need 3,000 pounds of fuel to break the atmosphere, but now your rocket weighs 6,000 pounds, so you're going to need 6,000 pounds of more fuel, but now your rocket weighs 12,000 pounds and so on and so forth.

So you wait to work, but now you've lost all your momentum so it's harder to get back to work now, and because you've waited you've lost more momentum and waited longer, so you lose even more momentum and so on and so forth.

Often times I do things on the computer with only one hand, because my other hand is usually under my chin holding my head up (or in my pants, but don't tell anyone). So my new genius idea is to type with a mouse, you have a couple quick keys "R S T L N E" that are actually on the mouse that you press with your thumb. Then there is a virtual keyboard that has the rest of the keys. Yeah, yeah, this might be my best idea yet. Or perhaps this is just the best few beers I've had all week. Only time will tell.

Funny things in life

I've noticed a funny thing that happens in human psychology, or at least it happens to me, and not just in Human Psychology, also in Physics, and English, and any class really. Not just in classes either, just all around in my life. Whenever I get excited or sometimes obsessed about a new and fun thing I tend to only do that one thing for a long period of time. But then the funny thing happens, you know the one I mentioned in the first sentence? Eventually the blinders come off and the other aspects of my life come into view. Suddenly I have this new thing that I want to hold onto but there's all these other things I have in my life that I can't let go of either, so it becomes a big game of catch up while I'm trying to cram every possible crumb of experience into my life. Then of course something falls behind, and I get upset. Like that general from that movie who's all "We can't leave anyone behind!" You know what movie I'm talking about, "Generic War Movie" I'm sure it made lots of money in the box office. So my body becomes like an army and I can't leave any part behind (this analogy doesn't make any sense to me any more because it sounds like parts of my body are falling off), and then I just get completely run down with everything I've been trying to do and I stop doing the first fun thing that started this whole mess and my life goes back to normal. So is the cycle, so shall it ever be.

Asleep And Awake, Alliteration!

The human body is an incredible thing that can adapt to most anything. I am referring of course to the amazingly low amount of sleep I have been getting as of late. For the last week and a half (wait, that's the same time I started this blog up again...) I have been going to bed later and later because I'm just so busy, and the strangest thing has happened: nothing. I haven't been passing out at work and being asked to go home (damn) my productivity hasn't plummeted, if anything it's been getting higher (but that's not because of the lack of sleep, in fact the lack of sleep is because I'm being productive as well as slacking off as much as I usually do, somethings gotta give). And all this leads up to one conclusion: I could have been staying up all night playing video games my entire life and I wouldn't have had all the ill effects I always heard about, I'm typing specifically to you, Mom. So I'm not going to go crazy, I'm not going to be sick every day and I'm not going to go blind (or is that something else?), so there!

(title goes here)

Social obligations are funny things, not necessarily funny enough to make a joke out of though. I used to ditch my social obligations to play video games, and it would make me feel bad. Now I'm ditching my video games for social obligations, and I feel bad. I have to ditch my friends to hang out with my friends and vice versa.

I've also noticed that writing is a very anti-social, personal thing. I'm sure writing COULD be done with other people in a group, but that would take all the fun out of it. Writing is about closing the door to the rest of the world (sometimes literally) and exploring the deep depths of your soul, sometimes with no lights save the glow of the computer monitor. You know, like ya do in junior high and high school? with your dark clothes and eye makeup? writing just to feel something besides emptyness? was that just me?

I lost!

After almost a complete week I lost my chain. :(
But here's the deal: there was a weak link and usually I would feel sorry for myself, but not today! Oh no! Today I am starting again, and if I break this chain then I'll just start again again and if the next chain breaks then I'll just start again again again and if-yadda yadda yadda.
A large problem in my life has been that I give up too easily, if I see a small imperfection in a project I give up completely and therefore it never gets done. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is not how most people operate, I also think this is not how anyone excels.

So starting now I will no longer let my failures get me down! I will use them to motivate me into a master! I will dust myself off, move my command center to a different location, and rebuild! I will no longer be bad at Starcraft!

Ah spring, when a young man's mind turns to thoughts of cookies.

As anyone who has perused the annual Girl Scout cookie catalog will know, each box of cookies is priced identically. To the casual observer this seems like a fine deal because a box of cookies is a box of cookies right? Absolutely not. According to the Girl Scouts themselves the most popular cookie is the Thin Mint, to no surprise from anyone. But if you remove sales from the equation and actually talk to people I believe you will find that Samoas are the preferred Girl Scout confection, taste wise. So why then, are Samoas not the highest selling? Well I think it's a simple case of economics. Samoas have at best 15 cookies in their package, Thin Mints have about 32. Your option here is a small amount of excellence or a crap-load of pretty good, and being as we are in America the masses have spoken and quantity trumps quality any day.

I personally prefer Trefoils, you get almost 40 per box.

No time no time no time

Crap! I only have 6 minutes to write a blog before I completely miss a day! I'm late because I went to go see a taping of the Wanda Sykes show.

I must say that while I always thought of myself as a Wanda Sykes anti-fan I really enjoyed myself, she was quite charming and entertaining. Plus Nick Cannon was on there, he's totally on my man crush list, and there was THE Passenger 57, Wesley Snipes himself.

Shite! I'm out of time, maybe I can edit it and it will still show up as being posted today?

YES!! I can post it and then go back and add more things and I still have my complete chain, even though I kinda cheated. But we don't really have the same approach to ending or starting days that we used to. I don't think the day can officially start anew at midnight if most people are staying up past 1:00am, that way you're going to bed and waking up on the same day. That's not sleep, that's a glorified nap.

What's with today today?

Today was one of those days where I would sit around for an hour or so, come up with a great idea to write about and as soon as I tried to cultivate the idea in my mind there would be something that needed my immediate attention and the idea was lost in the ether. Ideas are funny things, they can seem amazing and incredible the moment you have them but write them down and come back later and all of a sudden you have absolutely no idea why you thought that was even remotely funny. That's an extreme case of course, most of the time the idea is just slightly less funny. But there are rare occasions where a small nugget slips out from the folds of my brain and finds itself on a small slip of paper that gets lost on my desk. When I ultimately come upon the idea once more I have forgotten how I ever came to such a witty and entertaining musing about the world around me, and sometimes even literally Laugh Out Loud (never rolling on the floor of course). Today was not one of those days though.

So I just got a Beta Key for Starcraft II. Which means 1 of 2 things, either I will: A)Fall in love with the game almost immediately based on my previous nostalgia for a game I still play from time to time mixed with the upgraded graphics that I have been waiting for a decade to see properly, or B)play 1 or 2 games online, realize that cheat codes aren't enabled and remember that I was never very good at RTS games and I always show me the money'D my way through pretty much every level past the first two of each race.
I think cheat codes in games are a terrible idea, every time I found a cheat code for a game that I loved that game suddenly became the epitome of fun. My pupils would dilate with the added adrenaline of becoming a demi-god in the world I had been enveloped into. Yet as quickly and intensely as I had loved the cheat code, I became embittered. Like an addict who stumbles into a large stash of their choice drug I had used up all the fun at once instead of allowing the fun to build and becoming proud of my accomplishments. I had no will power when it came to cheat codes, no matter how many times I started a new game and promised myself this time would be different I would always go back to my dealer and ask for another hit. "Just once or twice when I'm in trouble" I would convince myself, and eventually I would finish the last campaign again with a single Dragoon after a quick "power overwhelming" was typed on the keyboard and go to bed as the victor on my screen, but the defeated in my heart.

What to do when you don't have an idea

You just write? Right? Right!

But the problem with owning a computer and living in this age of ADD is that anytime there is a slight break in concentration I immediately have 30 or 40 other things to occupy my attention. This is when war must be declared on the minimize button. Why are computers powerful enough to run 4 or 5 programs at once? Do I really need to play a game of solitaire whilst balancing my checkbook, updating my resume and watching the best the internet has to offer. Well no I don't NEED to per se, but it's always good to know I have the option yes?

I, for some reason, was never able to focus on many things at once the way most of my friends were. I constantly saw my buddies in high school reading while listening to music, I never could. I would have friends watch TV while carrying on a conversation with me, and I apologize to all of you because I didn't catch a single word of what you said while the TV was on. I tried, god knows I tried, I would play music while writing papers which turned out to be terrible. I never quite got a hold of it.

At this point I feel like the story arc should arise into a crescendo where today I am able to read, listen to music and have a coherent conversation with my girlfriend about the current economic trends of the US and where we think they'll be in 10 years. But in reality I can't even finish a blog post without

Time to start a new chain

So I started to realize that lately I've been doing all the things I've wanted to do but haven't for one reason or another. More often than not that reason is because it would look bad in the eyes of society. But now, that doesn't matter, and you know why? Because I have a live in girlfriend! Now that I have a live in girlfriend I don't have to pretend to be interested in manly things like sports so that I can talk to the other single guys at a party. I can just talk to my girlfriend about things that I want to talk about, like how slutty that girl over there looks. Now that I have a live in girlfriend I don't have to worry about things like working out, I can just take a nap as soon as I get home. Now that I have a live in girlfriend I don't have to worry about how people will look at me when I tell them I've started playing World of Warcraft. Because I still have someone to sleep with me every night even though I play (LF1M 4 [2 girl raid] pst if interested). Now that I have a live in girlfriend I don't have to worry if I smell good, or if my fingernails are trimmed, or if I have clean underwear on (I just stopped wearing any, less laundry). Yessiree having a live in girlfriend has turned my life around, I've even started collecting comic books (although that will mean less room for her shoes).

Of Ice and...Men?

Thank you Haley, for being the only person to give me what I so loosely described as an idea (I am starting to regret that vague description). But being that I am a man of my word I suppose I should write SOMETHING on the "topic."
But what exactly is the topic here? Ice? Androgyny? A kid who doesn't look to be 14 yet driving to school? I must admit that a certain JJsears77 shows a large amount of gusto posting things like this for all the world to see (or at least the 200 or so people who've viewed), and I applaud him for that.

And it turns out that instead of working on my writing I was working on my Death Knight, story of my life. Oh well, at least there's something here...

A subject! A subject! My Kingdom for a subject!

Being of the human race, I am forced to live with and see myself every day, and after all these years getting to know me I have come to learn two things. I like orgasms and I need direction. Now these things have nothing to do with each other (ladies, I need no direction in the bedroom), they're just the two truths I have come to hold dearest to my heart. So now I have come to you, the internet, for help, you have helped me so often through my adolescence with one of these (several times a day most days) and it seems only fitting that I ask you for help with the other. I think I like long form, stream of consciousness rambles rather than single line ideas (Ellen DeGeneres vs Steven Wright). But I need a direction to go, otherwise I putter around in circles.

So if you can, please help a blogga' out and leave me some ideas. They could be single words, giant sentences or even thesis statements. I in turn will try my darnedest to provide you with some quasi entertaining rambles.

There's something missing in the state of Denmark (and my Denmark I mean my life (not that I'm now naming my life Denmark, I'm not))

Well, it's been almost a year since I've made a single post. But I feel something has been missing from my life, and last night at Shakey's I realized it's the silliness. I've been waking up, going to work and coming home for quite a while now, and while I've been filling all available space with things that make me happy, I haven't been happy. There's no outlet for me to be a smart ass, because when you're a smart ass to actual people they just get angry at you and I've spent the better part of my life (well, all of it) trying to make it so nobody is ever angry at me. But when you're a smart ass to people on camera or on stage everyone laughs and nobody's angry...usually.

So I've decided to try and come back to the ole' thoughts of the day and revamp it again, perhaps this time it'll stick...

or maybe I'll see you again next year.