Last night I had a dream that I got a haircut and that I ran out of clean socks, even my subconscious is getting old and boring.

What if we invented time machines, and went back in time to find out that Jesus was really just a guy from the future, and healed the leper by giving him soap, and healed the blind guy by giving him glasses, and people only followed him around because they thought his teva sandals were really cool?
What if?

10 rules for prison

1. Don't get ass raped

2. Don't forget rule #1

3. Always remember rule #1

4. Get a tattoo of rule #1 so you don't forget it

5. On the first night make someone your bitch, then make sure they know rule #1 so that they can remind you if need be

6. Be sure to stock up on cigarettes so you can buy your way out if you forget rule #1

7. Prison can be very boring, entertain yourself by repeating rule #1 to yourself

8. To keep track of time passed, make a mark on the wall for every day that you have remembered rule #1

9. If ever in a knife fight, have the other person stab rule #1 into your flesh

10. When offered a homemade alcoholic beverage, do not accept unless you are sure you can remember rule #1 while drunk

My time was stolen last night by a time bandit, that's why I couldn't update, if you see this man please call the police and help us bring him to justice.

"I've never really understood the term 'Spooning'"
"Well duh Kelly, you know how spoons lay in the drawer?"
"On top of each other not sideways, and besides, why spoons? Why not call it forking..."