Wow, May was a short month, does anybody else feel like that? Because to me it feels short, as if there were only nine days in it.

Today I saw this gorgeous woman: long brown hair, flowing white dress, she even had these little sexy sandals on and she had a big beautiful smile. As I was checking her out I couldn't help but notice she looked kind of familiar, and then it hit me.

"Oh my God! I want to fuck Jesus."

So being a driver I finally realized today that I'm starting to enjoy traffic, because now for me traffic=overtime, it's a good thing I live in LA where I have plenty of chances to enjoy it.

Now it's time for Question and Answer with Kelly!

Q: Why haven't you updated in so long?

A: I was sick last week, and I've been playing a lot of Mario Kart.

Q: Does being sick prevent you from using the computer for like 5 minutes a day?

A: Well, no...but it does prevent me from being creative or motivated.

Q: That sounds like a cop-out.

A: That wasn't a question.

Q: Touche.

Letter continues:
Furthermore, there is an area surrounding your car known as a "Blind Spot" so named because if there is a car in this area, you will not be able to see it without turning your head and looking directly at it. It's where the term, "check your blind spot" comes from. So please, check your blind spot when changing lanes, and use your turn signal, you will find that with the use of both of these tools there will be sufficiently less near misses and accidents that are your fault.

Thank you!
Kelly.

An open letter to the constituents of Los Angeles and surrounding areas:
Dear vehicle owners,
While driving your car, truck, or SUV from point a to point b you may have noticed a little lever on the left side of your steering column between the wheel and dashboard. This lever operates the turn signal, aptly named because it signals where and when you are going to turn, it is also known as a "Blinker" as in "Use your fucking blinker you moron!" It is very simple to use, push it up or clockwise to signal right, and push it down or counter-clockwise to signal left, just like the steering wheel!

I saw a bumper sticker today that said "Stop Senior Abuse." But I really don't think it's that much of a problem, I've never seen a senior get abused, they're always the ones abusing the freshmen.

Brilliant idea number 23:
Nilla wafers and Nutella!

After a long day of exhausting driving all over Hollywood I get home and immediately turn on Mario Kart to unwind by...pretending to drive.