In an apartment without cable we spent about a half hour watching the path of a tiny soap bubble that escaped from the sink while doing dishes. I feel that was more productive than watching another episode of "Friends" that I had seen at least twice before.

I fell sick, not sick enough to warrant staying in bed all day, but sick enough to not want to do anything, so I've just been staying in bed all day.

While I'm packing and unpacking all of my stuff I've noticed what a pack-rat I really am. Thoughts have entered my head like, "Why do I still keep my watch that stopped working years ago? and why do I have the instructions to this watch?" But then I think, "What if I buy the same watch and then that one breaks and I need spare parts to fix it?" but I don't think they make Darkwing Duck watches anymore.

It's a good thing moving forces me to clean, which I apparently don't do enough, I just found a bag of easter candy behind my bed.
With a "FREE Ninja Turtles Pog inside."

Ways to save money while moving:
Instead of renting a huge trailer to move everything, just sell it on Amazon, then buy it back using the "Super Saver Shipping" option so you don't have to pay for shipping!
OR
Give all your stuff away to all your friends, then when you are in your new place say "Oh sorry, I guess I really DID need that, can you send it to me? Thanks!"

As I was packing today I noticed that I have more books than I do CDs and DVDs combined, I thought this was pretty cool so I counted, turns out books are just bigger, I almost felt proud of myself for a minute there.

I find it slightly disconcerting that the the air vents on a passenger airliner look almost exactly like the back of the engines.

Blank page taunting me,
Cursor blinking on and off,
Creativity gone,

Beer makes counting hard,
Why is creativity
five damn syllables?

When I stay home all day, watch videos and read blogs on the internet and smoke pot it's called being lazy. Yet if I were to stay home all day injecting heroin into my veins people would say I "have a problem" and would love me and try to get me help, where I would be whisked away to a magical white building and wouldn't have to do anything except watch t.v. and people would bring food right to my bed. I should give this heroin stuff a shot.

"...I've always taken my time learning things, when my friends in elementary school picked up certain skills or homework problems quickly I would always take longer than them. My friends have also generally been younger than me, I just seem to get along better with people who are a few years my junior."

Attorney: "That's the feeblest excuse for pedophilia I've ever heard."

Witness: "Would it be a good excuse for murder?"

It's now illegal to talk on the phone while driving in my area, so I've come up with a simple solution, when someone calls me in the car I just text them to let them know I'm driving and can't talk, take that American Government.

Have you ever watched porn so often that the music gets stuck in your head, then before you know it you're walking down the street humming "Bow chicka, bow chicka bow bowwww." What? Oh no, of course not no, yeah me neither. I was just...making conversation.

Who decided to make nuts so hard to get into? They're delicious but why the hard shell? Fruit doesn't have a hard shell, fruit just has a thin skin, and it basically has the same purpose, but there's just something about nuts, they're just so...good. I really love nuts.

That sounded a lot less gay in my head.

Everywhere I go I imagine people are watching me, I'm not paranoid or anything, I'm just really, really self centered.

As I was peeing I suddenly realized that I couldn't remember the last time I pooped, this worried me a little but then I realized it's a good thing that I have better things to do with my life than keep track of my bowel movements.

T: *ruffle*
Me: Did you just mess up my hair? Damn-it you just messed up my hair.
T: I'm sure it's lank enough to fall back into place.
M: I spent a half an hour giving it that perfectly "slept in" look.
T: Dude, ruffling only HELPS the slept in look.
M: I don't know what to write for my thought of the day, I've got writers block.
T: Something about ruffling hair and the slept in look, just log that entire conversation.
M: You just want to be in it twice.

AIM slows the hell out of my computer, literally all the hell that's in my computer gets up, grabs its belongings and heads for greener pastures. But it's also the only way I can keep in touch with some of my friends, so the question becomes: Should I have a faster computer or should I have friends? Computer vs Friends, it's not the first time this ultimatum has come up in my life.

Dogs are amazing, they love unconditionally, they forgive without a second thought, and they have no sense of shame, we could learn a lot from them. They also eat their own poop.

At first I just saw other people doing it at parties, then one time "Smoke on the Water" was playing so I thought I'd give it a shot, it was pretty fun. Then it started happening more and more, I'd show up at a party and before saying hi to anyone I would sit down in the familiar circle on the couch waiting in line for my turn. I couldn't wait for the next time, my next time. Then I started going to parties where that's all anyone was doing, we weren't drinking or talking or anything, everyone just sat around the TV, eyes glazed over with a blank look on their face. When you looked around it appeared as if the world was moving away from you, how metaphorical. This Christmas I finally got my own and started having my own parties, but as the days went by it became harder and harder to convince people to come over, till before I knew it I was spending hours standing alone in the dark, if anyone came up I could barely grunt at them let alone have a conversation. When I'm at work it's all I can think about, when I'm home it's all I do, I think I might have a problem.

My name is Kelly, and I'm addicted to Guitar Hero

What does it mean when something hurts you yet you can't stop doing it? Is that addiction? 'cause my wrist hurts like hell!

Today we committed a random act of kindness by building a sandbag wall to stop the rushing water from flooding my neighbors yard, I think it's catching on, later I saw someone pulling leaves out of a stopped up storm drain, then he ate them, but still it helps.

It's 2008.
We have alternative fuels, communication devices that can fit into a pocket, we can receive vast ammounts of information at the push of a button, we have remote control robots on the battlefield, robots that clean our floors, realistic sex dolls, we can go to any general store and buy a laser, a freaking LASER, yet somehow, someway we have let slip through our fingers the single most important science fiction concept of all time. Vampire Slayers, there is a severe lack of blonde girls in catholic school girl uniforms kicking undead ass in the middle of the night.