Have you Ever wondered if there are subLiminal messages Posted all around us? It would be weird to think that Microscopic organisms are Trying to tell us something from the futuRe. As if there is some Parent, or alien race bigger than all of us and we are not aware of any of it at the Present, do you think that somE Diabolical scheme Is beiNg enACted Onto our poor Minds Perhaps oUr TerrEstrial minds cannot compRehend anything like that. yeah, i never think about that either.

i'm going on a ski trip, i'll be back on the 3rd

~KJMRLL

I have a penchant towards large breasted women, and I also like it when girls don't wear bras, but most large breasted women wear bras because they have large breasts. It's really the worst logic problem I've ever faced since "The fox, the chicken and the farmer" man, that one was tough.

"Getting older sucks but it beats the alternative" is a stupid phrase, wouldn't the alternative be to find an anti-aging immortality potion? That's way better than getting older.

I only go ice skating about once a year, so I always start out a little wobbly. Watching a little kid slip around on the ice rink is cute, but when a grown man does it it's just awkward, then again, watching a grown man perform pirouettes is even more awkward.

Guitar Hero III

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Go spend Christmas with your family, if your family died horribbly in a car crash years ago I'm sorry for bringing up such a painful memory.

Me: So why are there no black people in your town?
P: There are plenty of black people, we're not racist.
Me: Where are they then?
P: It's night time, you can't see them.
Me: I thought you said you weren't racist.
P: I'm not.

I've decided life would be easier if everyone was gay, someone brought up the problem of procreation, to which I replied, "Duh! People will adopt." It's amazing how short-sighted some people can be.

I haven't had sex in two days and I'm already jonesing for more. I don't know if this means I'm having too much sex, or not enough.

I have a friend I met when I was in high school, he hated Starbucks, A LOT! He preferred the smaller locally owned coffee shops, I always used to tease him when we went out and I'd tell him we were going to Starbucks, he'd laugh and tell me how much he hated me and then we'd go on our way, they were good times. A few years ago he moved to Seattle, how fucking ironic is THAT Miss Morissette?

For some reason Adult Swim just isn't the same anymore that I'm not in college, not procrastinating writing my 10 page research paper due tomorrow, and not really really high.

"Oh my god! It's a red herring"
"A false trail? But the clues line up so perfectly."
"NO! A red herring!"
*GIANT FISH*

I was playing with my hair in the mirror the other day, I made it look like I had bangs and a ponytail. Dude, I woulda made a hot girl, minus the facial hair of course.

I was about halfway through a bottle of vitamin water today before I made the startling realization that it looked exactly like pee.

When you try to get a girl drunk in order to take advantage of her later in the night, it's important to give her the right ammount of alcohol. Otherwise you might end up holding her hair while she throws up in the toilet, which is a lot less fun than sex.

Lately, when I've been hearing songs on the radio with awesome guitar solos I think how they would be played on Guitar Hero, and then I play them out with my hands. I've officially out-nerded air guitar with air Guitar Hero.

Last night while we were talking Sarah decided that, Spice Girls < Pole Dancing Spice girls. I'm inclined to agree, but then again that would be the case with almost anything, bears, skeletons, strippers.

I keep my real clock five minutes slower than my computer clock. That way I can look at the time on my computer, waste some time, then get up and go about my day and it's still the same time, it's my own personal time warp.

As I was driving to work yesterday I realized I forgot my phone, I checked to make sure I had everything else I normally carry with me but I started to panic when I couldn't find my car keys attached to my belt loop where I normally keep them.

Yesterday I saw a woman put her coat over her head as if to protect her from the rain before going outside, but outside it was sunny and beautiful, I think she was maybe somebody famous, or a vampire.

Last night I went to bed wearing a shirt, socks, underwear and pajama pants, I haven't slept in full PJ's since I was 5. I also masturbated last night, but I've done that a LOT since I was 5.

Sometimes I think the only reason I have such low motivation for my creative ideas is to leave motivation for the "real life" stuff.